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lil's list of foibles

 
here we have hundreds of reasons why i'm a bad candidate for living with others.

i started this list while i was still married to my ex-husband, rob.  it just began as a little list of things we'd fought about and somehow developed a life of its own.  these are things i am unwilling to change about myself.  some of them i may grow out of over time, but i don't want anybody holding their breath while they wait....

  • i dwell on the negative
  • i have a passion for anything from the '80s
  • i think the '70s was the best decade for rock 'n' roll
  • i have an eclectic taste in music
  • i will always want to sleep with tom petty - but probably never would
  • i will always swoon whenever steven tyler says "making love"
  • i recite movie lines - and generally get them wrong
  • i sing loudly
  • i remember only the most stupid songs from my childhood and sing them often
  • i hate socks
  • i watch my favorite movies over and over
  • i hate being wrong
  • i don't like to share
  • i pay my own way
  • i will blindly follow most men with british/aussie accents
  • i will never consider dinner for three people "spending the holidays with family"
  • i like order to my chaos
  • i say "like" every three or four words
  • i laugh at my own jokes
  • i don't take criticism well
  • i get turned on by doing algebra
  • i wallow in the past
  • i hold grudges
  • i don't like demands when i'm tired
  • okay...i don't like demands
  • i swear like a sailor
  • i tell dirty jokes
  • i make comparisons
  • i make up rules as i go along
  • i answer every question with a story
  • i'm a nasty drunk
  • i'm a home-body
  • i miss my dog
  • i'd like to go back in time and have an affair with gregory peck
  • i think prematurely grey men are sexy
  • i love watching soccer players move
  • i have a spending addiction
  • i hate talking on the phone
  • i hate shopping
  • i never ask directions
  • i yell at the people on television
  • i've never liked e.t.
  • i wish i could have been a flower child
  • i'm not comfortable with my table manners
  • i thrive on acknowledgement
  • i don't like working for someone else
  • i don't like meat with bones in it
  • i don't like boiled meat
  • i'm not crazy about most meat in general
  • i check fat content
  • i'm terrified of death
  • i hate take-offs and landings
  • i'm afraid of falling
  • i'm afraid of clowns
  • i don't hug
  • i have an unreliable train of thought
  • i can nurse a beer all evening
  • i drink hard liquor like water
  • i'll never understand why people buy "mocktails"
  • i'm a closet smoker
  • i like things loud
  • i get migraines
  • i would never buy a jimmie rodgers cd
  • i love fast food
  • i have no respect for natalie cole
  • i think visiting family and friends is a vital part of traveling
  • i'm fascinated by shipwrecks
  • i think world war ii was the most interesting period in history
  • i am not a nurturer
  • i talk to strangers
  • i believe we have a lot to learn from our elders
  • i believe we have a lot to learn from our first nations people
  • i believe what canada has given our first nations people doesn't begin to cover what we took from them
  • i've broken all but two of the commandments
  • i believe in angels
  • i don't believe in a benevolent god
  • i have no patience for shrinks - real or armchair
  • i think self-help books are for people who lack imagination
  • i get depressed when famous people die
  • i find victorian erotica hilarious
  • i'm morbid
  • i get sick on the tilt-a-whirl
  • i can never decide what to eat
  • i'd give anything for a cure for aids
  • i have no problem with gay people
  • i've had at least three gay cousins
  • i think people should be judged for their actions and not the colour of their skin
  • i'm not affectionate
  • i think putting computers in elementary school classrooms is a mistake
  • i believe in the value of extra-curricular activities
  • i believe in the value of a good teacher
  • i despise being embarrassed
  • i like to find amusement in sex
  • i flirt
  • i'm shy
  • i'm not partial to facial hair
  • i think fast cars are better than sex
  • i will always have male friends i'll want to spend time with
  • i don't appreciate having to explain where i've been
  • i think it's necessary to call home when you're not going to show up as expected
  • i see red whenever anybody tells me how i should act or what i should say
  • nothing is more important than my pride
  • i don't know how to talk to small children
  • i could spend my life's savings on nylons and still not have a pair without runs
  • i'm never warm enough
  • i'm a planner
  • i don't do anything half-way
  • gravity has already had its way with my body
  • i obsess
  • i think that people who regret will never see the value and life-lessons in their choices
  • i like traditions
  • i hate science fiction
  • i get jealous
  • i need space, privacy and a dvd player for an hour each day
  • i get seasonal depression
  • i'm a casual insomniac
  • i believe that any martians able to make their way to earth could probably get past the us government
  • i believe oj did it
  • i love my brothers, no matter how annoying i find them
  • i'm not afraid to tell my mother how i feel
  • i believe "respecting your elders" should be restricted for the elders who actually deserve it
  • i rarely say "i love you"
  • i'm mildly superstitious
  • i believe in psychic ability
  • i would never wear a walkman when communing with nature
  • i don't believe that any topic is off-limits when you're with friends
  • i don't believe that many topics are off-limits when you're with strangers
  • i have a strong emotional bond with my father's family
  • i have little emotional bond with my mother's family
  • i don't think there's a nicer word than "grampa"
  • i rarely miss my father
  • i feel others' pain
  • i like being the centre of attention
  • i hate non-productivity
  • i do my best thinking in the middle of the night
  • my brain is constantly cooking up schemes
  • i need to have my things close by
  • i think flannel is just as sexy as silk
  • i don't like cats
  • i hate birds
  • i try not to let fear stand in my way
  • i believe in reincarnation
  • i believe in ghosts
  • i talk big
  • i hate silence
  • i don't like being alone at night
  • i'm never satisfied for long
  • i'm miserable before my morning shower
  • i'm overprotective
  • i avoid confrontations of any kind
  • i procrastinate
  • i'm claustrophobic
  • i'm agoraphobic
  • i can't retain anything i don't care about
  • i interrupt
  • i panic at the thought of bearing children
  • i have no willpower
  • i avoid looking people in the eye unless i'm lying
  • i am the most important person in the world to me
  • i giggle incessantly when i'm nervous
  • i read too much into things
  • i keep score
  • i despise people who can't handle their liquor but insist on drinking
  • i avoid large groups of people
  • i lash out when i'm feeling insecure
  • i have low self-esteem
  • i lack ambition
  • i crave security without strings
  • i feel no attraction for "nice guys"
  • i don't believe in organized religion
  • i don't believe in using "freedom of speech" to encourage others to hate
  • i believe that male pro-life activists should try giving birth to an unwanted child
  • i hate people who can't grasp that "pro-choice" does not mean "pro-abortion"
  • i assume the worst
  • i believe in the death penalty
  • i will never fully relax while clifford olsen is alive
  • i'll never be able to do strenuous exercise
  • i don't think world peace is possible
  • i've never believed "the big one" is coming
  • i believe in the charlie brown adage that "happiness is a warm puppy"
  • i wish i was a kid again
  • i hate closed-minded people
  • i think that politicians should quit worrying about whether or not quebec wants to continue to be part of canada
  • i voted for kim campbell
  • i love traveling by greyhound
  • i insist on condoms until i'm satisfied with a current aids test result
  • i love exploring ghost towns
  • i love flea markets and garage sales
  • i think that liberated women just worry about things too much
  • i hate getting wet
  • i provoke arguments
  • i don't share ice cream cones
  • i don't share finger-foods with children
  • i don't like violent movies
  • i gravitate to small towns
  • i have no reasoning ability when i first wake up
  • i know where it hurts
  • i alternate polish colours on my toes
  • i gravitate towards musicians
  • i hate nightclubs
  • i yell insults at sporting events
  • i get the warm fuzzies from listening to the monkees
  • i think the acoustic version of layla was a big mistake
  • i think bryan adams is a pig
  • i don't understand why "bigger is better"
  • i think most modern architecture has no artistic aspect
  • i make the most of what i have
  • i hate coffee
  • i despise being watched while i eat
  • if i can't do something perfectly, i won't waste my time doing it at all
  • i'm allergic
  • i'm asthmatic
  • i visit cemeteries
  • i have "frequent buyer" cards for everywhere and can never find the one i want
  • i'm an exhibitionist
  • i will always see a fat person in the mirror
  • i leave needles in upholstery
  • i'm always forgetting my purse
  • i'm a creature of habit
  • i hate moving
  • i never remember to return library books
  • i wish every day was christmas
  • i wonder what the world would be like if john lennon had lived
  • i have insatiable weaknesses for both ice cream and jelly beans
  • i think that every trip to the 7-eleven requires the purchase of five-cent candies
  • i shorten long names and lengthen short ones
  • i must control my own situation
  • i talk about past relationships to new boyfriends
  • i've already had the best sex of my life
  • i read harlequin romances voraciously
  • i collect books from my youth
  • i cannot feel attracted to stupid guys, no matter how pretty they are