1.  elvis rocks the canyon.

 

2.  i will never avoid conversation with the person working visitor information. my only hope is to pull in at the exact same time as a highly confused couple driving an rv up from south dakota.

 

3.  i have way more visions of knife-wielding maniacs and blood-thirsty bears while camping by myself during the off-season than i do when there are lots of other people around.

 

4.  i feel much more comfortable driving narrow, winding, gravel roads in 2nd gear. my car will not enjoy the ride nearly as much.

 

5.  hate me is the sequal to calling you. this depressed the hell out of me until i learned that they're now happily married. ergo, love conquers all - even rabidly out-of-control alcoholism and bi-polar disorder. yay love.

 

6.  pioneer paul knows which side his bread is buttered on.

 

7.  the general store in gold bridge has greatly decreased their selection of chewing gum.

 

8.  i could probably buy the entire town of bralorne for roughly the same price the dutch paid for manhattan.

 

9.  it is very important to recognize the warning signs bears make, or have an elephant gun on your body at all times.

 

10.  the entire town of lillooet is on prozac. seriously.

 

11.  even "free" text messaging isn't quite free.

 

12.  push the ends of the pole together and ease the grommet off the end, for heaven's sake!!!

 

13.  i still don't like hidden valley campground. and now i can't even find it.

 

14.  may is too early for chicory flowers, but i can be appeased by unexpected visions involving forget-me-nots and carpet daisies.

 

15.  when i am sad, my great-uncle earl will send big, floppy dogs to make me smile.

 

16.  bring a fishing rod. actually, first find out if rob has said fishing rod, get it back, and then bring a fishing rod.

 

17.  the town of midway actually has everything you need for a happy life.

 

18.  business in greenwood is picking up. business in gold bridge is dying.

 

19.  i must consider the entire path my postcards take before reaching their intended recipient.

 

20.  one day soon i will probably have to learn to spell massachusetts.

 

21.  there is still a town of hillcrest. and if i don't photograph it soon, it too will be under half of turtle mountain.

 

22.  i will always find a bear on the road to red rock canyon.

 

23.  two-hour time differences are much harder to keep track of than three-hour ones.

 

24.  street kids are friendly, protective, loyal, generous, and so unbelievably funny.

 

25.  it can and will snow at a moment's notice.

 

26.  i did not learn to bring mittens in 2005, like i thought. bring mittens, lil!!!

 

27.  mcdonald's hasn't gotten any better.

 

28.  trifocals + big rock = excellent photo opportunity, terrifying descent, and near embarrassingly public rescue.

 

29.  never camp in a smart car. see #25.

 

30.  the people who truly piss me off on the road will always turn up somewhere else. sadly, this is never in a ditch.

 

31.  always, always check what's playing at the salmar first

 

32.  after a week and a half of bologna sandwiches, they reach a point where they're only palatable if i add hotdog relish.

 

33.  although bologna seems to be the same thing as wiener, it tastes completely different when roasted over a campfire. (i'm lying...i learned this on a camping trip in 2005, but it seemed necessary to add it after the last lesson.)

 

34.  i might record el paso onto my mp3 player, but it doesn't mean i'll hear it.

 

35.  there is really so much george must never know!